I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
My pussy is not your playground.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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