He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
