i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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