You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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