You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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