I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize