Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
