i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
