don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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