There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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