there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
