i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
