I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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