She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
