Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i came on her dog
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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