What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
They have beer where we have blood.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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