also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
