don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
My boob is missing a layer of skin
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
