That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
