I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
