so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Two words: nipple clamps
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