No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
operation harelip BJ is a go
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
