maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Randomize
