just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I wish you could order shots online.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
