so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
