in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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