Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
