Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
