just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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