I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
