hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize