I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Girls should come with a carfax report
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
