Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
