I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize