Nicole vs. Life
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
