I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I just got carded by a ten year old.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
