I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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