Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
