its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
