He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
we made out on top of his cat.
love makes seman taste better
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
