Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
