You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
