i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
