wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
