this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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