Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
