I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
