Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
