I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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