I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
