Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
