yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
my shit smells like andre
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
