i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
